Ever since I was a little girl, I always had the feeling I was too old for things. Life changing things that is. When I was 12 and wanted to become a popstar and read that Britney had started at the Mickey Mouse Club aged 11, I was crushed. How could I still become a popstar? I was already too old!
When I went off to study music at the Academy of Popculture in the Netherlands at the age of 17, I immediately didn’t like the one girl that was younger than me.
Funny thing is, I usually don’t notice age in other people. Hell, one of my best friends is 38. When I went for a drink with my (age) oldest friend a little while ago, we all seemed genuinely surprised when we realized realized there was exactly 10 years in between me and our newly met friend and 10 years between him and the friend I originally came with – 24, 34, 44. Still I revel in it when I realize I’m the youngest in a group, or when my older friends praise me for starting my writing career at such a young age.
Even now, at 24, having experienced and reached quite a lot in my life, I still worry about my age.
Many of my friends have recently turned or are turning 30 and, as society tells them to, they freak out. I tell them I don’t understand what the fuss is about; age is just a number, who cares?
But then I realize I’m a lying little hypocrite because was I not just yesterday freaking out over turning 25 in a couple of days?
The difference in how I perceive other peoples age versus my own makes me wonder. Why do we sometimes seem to be so hard on ourselves and not on others? It’s a ‘known issue’ that when you judge other people harshly, it probably means your insecure about yourself, and talking down on other people will make you feel better about yourself.
But what does it mean when you’re not hard on other people, but hard on yourself in one specific area of your life?